I have been MIA for the last several weeks. I ran the Paris Marathon, went to Ireland and then returned to Dallas to have some previously scheduled medical work done. It is taking me longer than I expected to get back into the swing of things. I haven’t been writing any posts and, even worse, I haven’t been reading any other blogs. I say even worse because reading other blogs is usually what inspires me to keep moving and writing. But I think I am ready to get back on track and try to catch up on what I have missed. In the meantime, I am going to share a post I wrote while I was in Paris, but never uploaded to the blog.
I was going to write this post in March but I struggled with it. While I was in Paris it suddenly became clear to me where I wanted it to go. The Paris marathon recap will be coming soon but until then, below is my Musier’s Musings post for March
April May. Enjoy.
This month I want to talk about The Line and sticking to resolutions. I have always been all about drawing The Line. By The Line, I am referring to The Line in the Sand. You probably know exactly what I mean. My lines in the sand have always gone something like this: I refuse to gain an ounce over X weight. I absolutely won’t accept under an X minute per mile pace for X distance. Training for X event starts tomorrow. I will work out at least 6 times a week. I won’t drink any beer. Whoa Nelly! Let’s not get carried away with this stuff.
Up until the last year or so I have been an excellent line setter. But lately, something strange has been happening. The Line has been moving on me. The base weight line has crept up the scale. While the pace per mile number has also crept up, the number of workouts per week have gone from 6 to 5 4 3 on a good week. This has been a scary phenomenon for me as, like I mentioned, setting The Line has always been my thing. I may not have had much natural talent. I might not have been particularly skinny, fast or coordinated but, by God, I could set a goal and stick to it. In my mind it was kind of my thing. My determination and my grit got me through a lot of races and life situations that I probably really didn’t have the skill or natural talent to get through.
So when The Line started moving on me and I couldn’t seem to hold it in one place any longer, it really way laid me. What was happening? Was I becoming one of those wishy washy people who can’t set a goal and make it happen?
In my March Madness post I wrote that my Mosier’s Musings post for March would be about moving lines. It was a great tease, but then I never wrote the post. So, I can’t even stick to my goal for writing a post about not sticking to my goals. I think we have hit defcon 5 here people.
The main reason I couldn’t seem to write the post was that I didn’t know exactly the angle I wanted it to take. Did I want to research goal setting and turn it into a how to achieve your goals post? Not really. Mainly I just wanted to talk about how I seem to have trouble sticking to my goals. But I thought that sounded too much along the listen to me whine format that I seem to have been writing in lately. Plus, if I read this kind of post from someone else, especially up until a few years ago, I would have just been like, “quit whining and suck it up Buttercup.” So that left me with the post on hold and one more moving line in my life.
Then, a few weeks ago, I saw the following quote:
“Birds don’t sing because they have the answer. They sing because they have a song.”
[bctt tweet=””Birds don’t sing because they have the answer. They sing because they have a song.” Maya Angelou”]
I felt like it was speaking directly to me about this post. I realized I don’t have to have the answers or even pretend that I do. Maybe other people out there are having the same identity crisis and it will help them to know others struggle with goals too.
So I started writing and then it came to me. Maybe I am having a hard time sticking to the goals that I set because they are the wrong goals. The goals that were important at 30 or even 40 may not fit my life at my current, not to be disclosed, age. So what if I am heavier, slower, and not torturing my body as much as I did several years ago? Maybe my goals need to focus on acceptance, enjoying life with moderation, and, instead of focusing on a set number of training sessions, my goal should be to ENJOY several fitness activities per week. Enjoy a fitness activity, that hasn’t happened on a consistent basis for me in a while.
I am a marathoner, an athlete, and an Ironman. I am not ready to say that those things are in my past, but maybe my goals for the future will focus on different things. I don’t know. I don’t have all of the answers, not for myself or anyone else. But for now, I will sing my song and work on figuring it all out.